Thirty Five (35) Signs of Infidelity
The following are some typical signs of a cheating partner or infidelity. On their own, they do not mean your partner is definitely having an affair.
They are simply pieces of a puzzle that might represent an overall picture or a pattern of conduct. But, they also mean you have a valid reason to be concerned.
Have you noticed:
- A sudden increase in time away from home or longer work hours.
- Deviations in their daily routine.
- A general change in how your partner behaves – particularly around you. They treat you differently.
- A decrease or increase in sexual interest.
- A request for a new type of sexual activity.
- Demonstration of a new sexual skill.
- Your partner is often distracted and day dreaming.
- Your partner no longer wears a wedding ring. He / she says they lost it, or something similar.
- Your partner avoids talking about certain people and changes the subject.
- Greater interest in their personal appearance – wardrobe, grooming, personal hygiene.
- A purchase of new and ‘different’ underwear.
- You discover your partner has a new PO Box.
- They are often “unavailable” while at work.
- They want to attend social events alone.
- Mobile phone calls to your partner are not returned promptly.
- Your partner leaves the house or goes to other rooms to talk on the telephone.
- Your partner uses the computer alone and secretly.
- They ask about your schedule more often than usual.
- The mileage on their car is incorrect for their alleged travel distances.
- Their clothes smell of perfume or cologne or there is cigarette smoke on their clothing when there shouldn’t be.
- Hair on their clothing that does not match in length and colour.
- Unexplained payments on bank statements.
- Unusual ATM withdrawals, often at locations that are inconsistent with their alleged whereabouts.
- The passenger seat has been moved – indicating a new passenger has travelled in that vehicle.
- Your partner has more cash on hand without accountability.
- Mobile phone bills contain calls with long duration.
- Unexplained receipts in wallet or purse.
- Unexplained purchases of gifts – e.g. flowers or jewellery.
- Suspicious phone voice-mail messages or “wrong number” calls.
- Suspicious mobile phone numbers stored or dialled.
- Your partner has a new and unexplained mobile telephone.
- Internet web browser history list (this is a record of web sites visited) contains unusual sites (or is always blank – meaning it is being regularly erased).
- Your partner has begun to use a new or free email account.
- Your partner is suddenly deleting email messages or text messages.
- A significant over-reaction (often resulting in an argument) when he/she is queried about some of the above items.
The BIGGEST mistake you can make!
The biggest mistake you can possibly make is to confront your partner before you have done an investigation. You should NOT let your partner know you are suspicious. He/she is already being secretive and hiding the truth from you. If you tip them off it will make it harder to find the truth.
If you asked them straight out they will deny it absolutely and, if you really think about it, they don’t have a choice. If they are not cheating on you, they have to deny it. If they are cheating, but they don’t want the relationship to end, they will deny it because it will either kill the relationship or badly damage it – something they don’t want. If they are cheating and they plan on leaving, experience tells us that they will lie to you until the very last moment for one of two reasons; the person they want to be with is not 110% committed to be with them indefinitely, or they feel that they cannot get divorced due to monetary concerns or a religious one. In short, there is almost no opportunity for the truth to come out on its own and if it does, the timing is completely controlled by the unfaithful partner.
The bottom line is that, if he/she knows or suspects you are onto them, then they will go to even greater lengths to cover their tracks, making it even more difficult for you to find out the truth.
So, what’s next?
The next step is to contact us and provide some brief details of the circumstances surrounding your suspicions. It would also be helpful to know whether there is any pattern or routine (particular days and time-frames) to your partner’s possible infidelity.
In almost all situations, surveillance becomes necessary to provide positive proof of the infidelity. However, where there is no solid pattern/routine in their activities, preliminary low-cost steps can be taken to obtain additional information to better pin-point any future targeted surveillance.
We would be happy to advise you (totally obligation free) on what can best be done for your particular situation.